Some Books I've Read

Romance Novel Junkies's bookshelf: read

Tempted by Her Innocent Kiss
Diamond Dreams
The Felig Chronicles
The Felig Chronicles
In Dreams
Desire's Race to Love
Wicked Weekend
Reality, Dreams and Nightmares
Fillies and Females
A Breach of Promise
Bound By Pleasure: Live on Stage
Keep Me Safe
Demons and Angels
Winter Warmer - A (Getting) Biblical Tale
Shrouded in Darkness
Valentine Submission
Blood Rage

Romance Novel Junkies / Lady Raven Rave's favorite books »

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Guest Editorial: Does BDSM promote violence against women?

*Due to the content and nature of this posting, this is for a mature audience of 18 and older.

 Dear Diary,

A couple of weeks ago, The Fifty Shades Trilogy by E.L. James made mainstream news when it was discussed on the Today show. I have been aware of the trilogy for a long time because it was originally a Twilight fan fiction called Masters of the Universe that the author changed the names and got three books published from it. That’s a really big deal. I read the first book, Fifty Shades of Grey about a year ago. I thought it was good. I gave it 4 stars on Goodreads. 

I found it surprising that this trilogy was getting so much press.  BDSM is always a brown paper, top shelf kind of genre.  The fact that it was on the Today Show and had women at my lunch table talking about it, had me agape.  I love reading BDSM, it was surreal to hear some of my co-workers discussing it.  Apparently, it’s sweeping book clubs across, not just the country, but the world!  I find that incredibly exciting.  I think that these women are waking up to their inner sexuality that has always lain dormant, because until you are exposed to that thing that gives you a tingle low in your belly, you don’t know it exists. When you find it, that window into your sexuality becomes a door.  And through that door is sexual satisfaction, which even the promise of, is heady. 

Women in these book clubs are saying that the books are lighting a fire under their marriage bed.  Again, awesome!  I want to start a BDSM book club in my neighborhood!  The other thing that I found shocking was according to the Huffington Post, “Dr. Drew, a board-certified internist and TV personality, told the TODAY Show that he finds the novel "disturbing" and even suggested that the submissive sex the book depicts is essentially violence against women.”

What?  Dr. Drew!  Dr. Drew of MTV’s and radio’s Loveline of my youth, believes that BDSM promotes violence against women!  I was so disappointed!  I always felt that Dr. Drew understood female sexuality, physically and psychologically.  I was so disappointed at his narrow view.  Plus, he hadn’t read the book at the time he made that statement!  Later, for his show on HLN, he read the book along with his wife and a panel of three other women and stood firm in his stance that it promotes violence against women!  Fifty Shades is not exactly hardcore BDSM but it’s not Sugarkink either.  (Sugarkink is how some refer to light BDSM, as in being tied to the headboard or an erotic spanking).  It’s also not the series I’d recommend if introducing someone to BDSM literature; it’s very deep on a psychological level.  Even though much of BDSM plays out in the player’s minds, Fifty Shades has what amounts to relationship mind games in my opinion. 

So, I’ve just got to say, BDSM is a consensual power exchange.  BDSM is a very wide spectrum of sexual practice, so the psychology behind those practices is infinite.  There’s a great article on Psychology Today about BDSM and Fifty Shades that states, “It [BDSM] is not weird, it is not pathological, it is a flavor of erotica, just as chocolate (and vanilla) are flavors of ice cream.”  Is it really so hard to understand why a person would want to give over complete control?  It’s freeing.  And just as I said in an article I wrote a few months ago, in a Dom/sub relationship, it’s the submissive that has all the power.  In a time when some people, like say..the women who are reading Fifty Shades in their book clubs, are responsible for everything from their job to bills to carpools, is it so hard to comprehend that that person would want someone else to have absolute responsibility for their pleasure?   Is it equally so hard to understand why someone would want to be in complete control of something, even something as simple as pleasure for one’s partner?  It isn’t for me. To me, it’s psych 101.  In a time when people feel like they have little control in their lives, one’s own sexual practices are something everyone should be in control of.

I want to make clear that Domestic Violence is in no way consensual and there is no power exchange, one person claims all the power, usually by force. 99% of violence in domestic relationships have this dynamic:

There is no consent given, no safe word, no protection.  The victim receives no pleasure from any part of this cycle and spends most of their lives in a state of hopelessness.  If you are in this kind of relationship, please get help.  1800799SAFE(7233) is a the number to call.  It must be said that most Doms would kick the ass of an abuser, as good Doms are incredibly protective by nature. And remember, after the spanking comes the aftercare. The aftercare is sweet. It’s the back rub during an endorphin high, it’s the spooning after sex.  It’s the reconnection while coming back down to earth.


So what do you guys think?  Does BDSM promote violence against women?  We want to hear from you.  And I think we need to send Dr. Drew some Cherise Sinclair. Who’s with me?

***This guess poster will remain Anonymous.  I am thankful  that she and her blog did an guest posting on this blog.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Author Carly Fall Could be a New Now Next for me at the Moment.

Dear Diary,

I am enjoying author Carly Fall's series the (Six Saviors). I think this could be an author to watch. She has a way of using dialogues between characters that is pleasing, also the way her story flows. Definitely book one was good and look forward to Hudson's story. The books feel like a mix genre  of sci-fi and paranormal romance.

Review: Carly Fall Review

Romance Novel Junkies

Sunday, March 4, 2012

WOW! Fifty Shades of Grey Series Made the News. Really...

Dear Diary,

 Wow..., really...

Imagine what I was thinking when on March 1st and 2nd 2012, I saw the today's show on nbc, fox news and cwb news talking about Fifty Shades of Grey series. I love the series, which I will admit I have not read book 3, not sure if I will, but they are calling it what suburbs moms are reading.

1. Its not only suburban moms.
2. It is crazy that it improves the suburb moms sex life. That's every other erotica novel for me.
3. Really, I love Christian Grey. I consider him my Mr. Big but this was not news worthy.
4. I guess with all these teen ya romances becoming movies this is the adult version of Harry Potter or Twilight.

I normally don't go for the hype of anything because it turns me off to not reading or watching it. I say that because 7 times out of 10 I probably don't like it. But I have to admit this was a good series but there are other books that are just as good. However, I will say that the intimacy level was oh so D.R.I.P for me.

I am definitely not a hater and commend E.L. James on her success. I haven't heard much from her but I would hate the pressure of the next series.

Link to news broadcast
Fifty Shades of Grey on the News 

Saturday, March 3, 2012

My New AA Ubran Author Obsession, Author S.K

Dear Diary,

I discovered this African American urban romance author a few months ago and I am addicted to her books. Her name, S.K. S.K. has a way of writing her characters with depth as she makes you feel as though you are up close and personal with the characters. Her (Sin City Heat) series are so good that I feel like it's some form of crack and I need the next fix asap. The intimacy level is not lacking as well and is an added bonus. The series has four books to date within the series, they are:

  1. Buried Secrets
  2. Twisted Obsession
  3. Beginning of an Eclipse
  4. No Secrets No Lies

I had the pleasure of speaking with the author and she is one of the sweetest people I know and with each book I'm always amazed at her talents. I haven't felt this way since discovering Brenda Jackson's novels and found myself trying to buy all her series.

Recommend to the African American genre.

YA Fever! J.A Templeton and Jamie McGuire

Dear Diary,

I am not a huge fan of Young Adult, but ever since I've read the MacKinnon Curse book 1 & 2, I am in love. J.A. Templeton's creation really scared me but the budding romance also captivated me. My Review:

My second runner up in the YA genre, Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire. May not be for everyone as it is a bit racy for some. It was different and that's what I loved about it.

If you want to try something different all three would be a definite try.